A lot of people ask me, “Why did you write this book?”
Learning back in the late 80s that my own brother, a Catholic priest, was a child molester, completely stunned me, but I didn’t doubt my daughter’s words as she painfully spoke of her Uncle Norman’s behavior. I thank God she found the courage to tell me about him.
I called a close family friend who had been a good support through rough times in our lives, a priest from our parish. As I unloaded the horrible secret that was laid upon me, I was told this was not mine to worry about. The Church was aware of the situation and they would take care of everything. My strong Catholic up-bringing kicked in, and I believed without question. In my mind, taking care of everything meant caring for those that were hurt, not just Norman and the reputation of the Church. Unfortunately, I was deceived.
I decided I would pay close attention to my brother after that, to see what he was doing and find out what the Church was doing about him. As months passed, I eventually told Norman that his niece had disclosed his secret and that our sister, Jeanne, and I wanted to hear it all from him.
The three of us met within days and talked for hours. Norman admitted he sexually abused children. Among other things, he told of his childhood and seminary years and how sexual abuse began to feel normal to him. As we parted that day, he sternly instructed us not to say anything about what we had discussed to anyone as that could greatly harm the Church. He emphasized that it would be our fault the Church was scandalized, for having disclosed this information to others.
I continued writing letters and talking with Church Officials over the years regarding my brother (and active clergy like him) and their abuse victims. I kept encouraging change in how the Church deals with its growing sexual abuse problem.
I saw little if any change in the Church’s actions. I learned the importance of watching what the Church was actually doing instead of hanging my hopes on what they wrote or said they were doing. Church Officials are very skillful at saying what the membership wants to hear, and Catholics’ blind faith accepts whatever they say as true instead of watching and discovering it’s mostly just talk. Deep down, we don’t want to believe it is true. It tarnishes the goodness of the Church, the community we belong to. But if we are truly living Christ’s teachings, we must step outside of our comfort zone, and realize we need to be helping those who can’t help themselves. This includes sexual and any abuse victims.
The Church did its best to pacify me over the years and many times, just simply ignored my letters. When Father Norman Christian died in October 2004 and was given a funeral and burial as a priest in good standing, with Archbishop Raymond Burke himself as the celebrant, I knew I needed to disclose what I had learned of the Church’s cover-ups for my brother. With some gentle encouragement from my daughter, niece and one of Norman’s abuse survivors, I started sorting through all my documentation and began writing my book.
I regret it took nine years from start to publication, but life often kept me from having the time to work on it. I hope now that the information in my book will reach people all over the world and that many will be encouraged to demand that known molesters be removed from ministry. I also hope that the Church and all members would go out of their way to show compassion and understanding towards abuse survivors. These innocent ones were cast aside as insignificant. They deserve our love and support in repairing their broken lives.
Carol Kuhnert was born and raised a devout Catholic in Saint Louis, Missouri. She worked full time for the Civil Service Commission before eventually leaving to become a stay-at-home wife and mother. She and her husband, Joe, raised four children in the Catholic faith and are now enjoying the joys of grand-parenting.
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